Might be coming down with something. The cough started a couple of days ago, and it felt different from the usual allergic cough I get most days. Last night I was on the verge of a fever but pushed it back with a dose of paracetamol.
Yesterday was inefficient. I went to an in-person meeting that lasted less than an hour and spent 3.5 hours traveling to and from the venue. And no, I can't work in transit because I get dizzy and cannot focus due to the constant stimuli around me.
Yesterday, I also received a message from one of the bosses about a possible Friday meeting with a client that the company has been wanting to woo. I was supposed to put together a strategic pitch for it. However, I hadn't started because there was just so much to oversee and do, and I took on the load that one of the team members couldn't handle, which then overloaded me.
The household situation has also been weighing hard on me recently, plus the 7-day daily trip to the vet for Spock's injection treatment. It will be day 5 today so I hope he passes the tests after so we can shift him to oral medication and do it at home.
I am scheduled for an open talk meeting with another boss today, later in the afternoon. I haven't fully prepared for it, but I know what I want and need to say. One thing that I will bring up for the first time is how I want to grow in terms of skills and knowledge and what things I would like to do more of on a more regular (daily is ideal) basis.
I am beginning to feel that kind of exhaustion that makes me want to quit although I know I can't. So what I can do is push back, fix what I can, and hold on to the things that make this job not bad at all.
In recent days, I have been starting under a thick brain fog. Getting started on anything is a major effort. I am paralyzed by the avalanche of musts and shoulds. Executive dysfunction kicks in hard. I fight back. I am already exhausted by the time the fog clears a little and a path forward becomes visible. Sustaining the momentum is another story and struggle. Real interruptions and accidental distractions cut in, slow me down, and derail me.
I am writing this post in an attempt to center myself and clear the fog. Is it working? Very little, but it does. The time on the clock stresses me. Every time I look at the time it is always counting down to something and I want to just run away or drop everything out of my hands.
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