Day 4. This is hard.

The transition to a full-time work routine has been tough. No art has been made. No anything outside of the work. At the end of the day I was drained and functioning purely by necessity- eat, wash up, feed the cat. Definitely no insomnia now because the fatigue just knocks me right out.

The mental work is heavy, and all dreaming is driven away. I have to be grounded all the time, especially now that I am trying to set up good foundations for a work routine that won’t kill me in the long run. When the ground is solid then maybe I can lift off a little. And then maybe soar. And I mean this for both work and the art, because at some point I want my art to influence my work - to fully bring in that leaping skill and out-of-the-box thinking, to let the total unconventionality of my ways just pour forth. And in the process hoping that I am able to make a positive difference.

Yesterday on my third day I already got pulled into a pitch project and did my first overtime. The day before I was hit by a bad case of PMS that had lingered the day after and so I was feeling really wrung out by early afternoon. I was half-asleep at the end of dinner, slept through the evening, woke up at midnight to wash up, then went straight back to bed.

I got up ahead of the alarm this morning, the pitch work that needs to be done already weighing on my head. It’s not a hard task but it does require diligence and craft. I already know how the puzzle puts together but I need to smooth out the pieces so that it all fits seamlessly.

To protect my art I want to do a 100 day project just like my friend Shalagh whose 100-day-projects have been encouraging and inspiring. I‘ll start thinking and feeling for a theme today.

And then of course the 100 pieces could go to the shop. 💚🌿

The official 100-day project begins on Feb 13 but I’m thinking of starting ahead to push back any further loss of art in the coming days. I’d like to set more solid art and studio routines alongside the dayjob as early as possible.

I feel invisible in the forest lately, like a ghost.

Meanwhile I’ve just been informed that there will be overtime work today/tonight. Tomorrow’s the pitch but tomorrow’s also Friday so I guess the end mood is a Yay.