Hollow

I hate it when a whole month passes by and I don’t even realise it because I have been trapped within the life-devouring grip of dayjob work.

So now it is the end of October. I didn’t get to do Inktober, which I usually get to do. All weekend art market events remain suspended until further notice.

I got to do one live art event and I made one sale but because I have not been able to follow through well, there were no other sales after that. I thought I‘d be able to do do some art shop-keeping while working on the dayjob but then I have always thought that and already knew the real answer. Yet every time I hoped the answer would be different.

Anyway.

It is the last day of October. It’s a Saturday and yet I have to work. I also have to work tomorrow, and on and on until a Friday deadline and then on and on until the wretched project thing is over sometime in mid-November.

I have been planning to launch a full complete shop here on the website by the latter half of November. But how am I going to make it happen with dayjob already eating up the first half?

I’ve said to myself I won’t write about things with bad vibes here. This is why I changed and started over from three other previous blogs. Because the bad vibes somehow got to creep in at some point and then all the posts were just a litany of pains.

I am not a very inspiring sort of artist, am I?

I am a person who had lived most of her life on default and who is late in realising that there are other ways to live outside the agenda set by other people. The past four years have been trying to re-shape a life outside of the defaults.